The Stout Republican

Scratch that life goal off my list of “to do’s”.

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.

Next thing you know, they’ll be wanting to get married. It’s the downward slide of morality I say, and traditional marriage is going to be lost! How will I explain that to my children!!1!!1!

Wait…

What?

Another Christchurch vegan said she found non-vegans attractive, but would not want to be physically close to them.

“I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance,” she said.

Christchurch vegan Nichola Kriek has been married to her vegan husband, Hans, for nine years.

She would not describe herself as vegansexual, but said it would definitely be a preference.

She could understand people not wanting to get too close to non-vegan or non-vegetarians.

“When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals,” she said.

Call me crazy…but I don’t see this as a major loss.

This just in:

Of the 676 samples received, 40 (6%) contained either one or both parasites ranging from 1 to 909 cysts or oocysts per 100 liters. This section’s mean recoveries on the 38 EPA PE samples were 47% for Giardia and 39% for Cryptosporidium.!

Parasites and bacteria in water? Wait…you drink water. Water filled with crawly little microorganisms. Microorganisms, that get their sustenance…sometimes from dead things!

The conspiracy goes deeper!!! People eat plants. Plants are found in the soil. Soil has dead organisms in it! Someone write congress!!! We’re all filled with other dead people!! (I skipped a few steps, but you get it).

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